


Rosa Diaz vs. Holiday Cheer

by aphrodite_mine



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Bad Puns, Canon Jewish Character, Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Gen, Jewish Holidays, Pairing is really only hinted at, Purim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 11:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1302907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphrodite_mine/pseuds/aphrodite_mine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Or for you Gentiles in the audience, a little gift of cheer, from me to you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rosa Diaz vs. Holiday Cheer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tashlum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tashlum/gifts).



"The hell is this?"

Amy halts at Rosa's side as they both stare at the clearly bat-shaped wrapped present on her desk. 

"Mishloach manot for Purim!" cries an exuberant Jake Peralta, leaping out from the shadows with a dramatic flourish. "Or for you Gentiles in the audience, a little gift of cheer, from me to you. No need to reciprocate. Just a little token of my affection--"

"Ugh," Rosa grunts. "Spare me." With a speed that belies her crankiness, Rosa unwraps the package and finds, unsurprisingly, a bat. "A bat. Cool."

"And what did _you_ get, Santiago?" Jake purrs, scooping a small box off of Amy's desk and dropping it into her hands. "Oh," he answers himself in a mocking falsetto, flipping his imaginary ponytail over his shoulder, "you shouldn't have!"

Shooting Jake a glare that has silenced more than one perp (but never, unfortunately, Peralta…) Amy snatches the box and slides the gift wrap off of it neatly. She finds herself staring dubiously at a velvet jewelry box. "You shouldn't have?" she echoes, warily cracking the case. 

"Chillax, Santiago. This is just stuff from Jake's apartment. Some girl probably left that behind." All eyes swing towards Gina, who until this moment had been working silently at her desk. 

"What!" Jake screeches, convincing everyone that Gina is right. "That is a vile accusation!"

"C'mon, man. I have a photographic memory. You think I wouldn't remember this massage chair cover?"

Now limply dangling costume jewelry earrings from her fingers, Amy turns agape to her frequent partner. "You regifted… on a religious holiday?"

Flipping her new (old) bat from hand to hand, Rosa grins. "This is awesome."

Jake sputters, swearing up and down that Gina is a liar -- wasn't she just telling them yesterday that her purse was once owned by Judy Garland? -- but stops abruptly when Amy announces, "I'm _so_ going to out-Jew you."

The room falls silent, and belatedly realizing what she has just said, Amy blanches. "Out… _do_. It rhymes?"

"Personally, I am _horrified_ by your cultural insensitivity and plan on filing a report… when we get back here on Monday. If I remember." Gina shifts settings on her new (old) massage chair and begins visibly shaking. "T-his i-s a-maz-eing b-y th-e w-ay."

*

Come Monday morning, Amy returns from the break room (where she carefully hides her leftovers in the back of the fridge) to find the crew at their desks. "Well?" she glances around, expectantly.

"I'm just happy you have to shop for our Christmas gifts again, now," Gina purrs, despite looking pleased-as-punched at the flat iron she's looking over. "It should be genetically impossible for someone to shop this early. For other people. Don't ever believe I haven't gotten my own self neck-deep in gifties. They're like selfies. Gifts you give yourself."

Amy opens her mouth and closes it again, figuring she isn't up for doing battle. Not when the fate of her presents lies in the balance.

"Jake? Rosa?"

Rosa is frowning, which wouldn't be too far from normal, except she refuses to meet Amy's eyes. This can only mean one thing. Amy has given the _perfect_ mishloach manot. Which is only a logic leap or two from Amy _being_ perfect, and this is the best Purim _ever_.

"Uh, I'm afraid I don't get it. This bag is empty." Jake dangles a gift bag from his fingers, sending it swinging back and forth.

"For your next re-gifting venture," Amy says, grinning. "Wouldn't want anyone to suspect."

"You mean suspect that _you're_ the re-gifter, Santiago?" Gina shouts. Once again, all eyes swing to Holt's assistant. It appears that she is attempting to smooth her hair with the flat iron, though -- small mercies -- it doesn't seem plugged in. "That's the bag that Jake used for your Christmas gift _last_ year."

Jake eyes her askance, as if looking for confirmation.

Amy shrugs. "I'm resourceful."

\--

Amy Santiago. Pen drawing.

[](http://imgur.com/gPB6PyQ)


End file.
